Post Mortem (2005)
for voice and ensemble

Information
Duration: 25'00"
Premiere: 9th November 2005
Composed for Ensemble Transcenturia
Commissioned by Fonds voor de Scheppende Toonkunst
Published by MCN

Programme notes
Post Mortem was inspired by the death of a close family member. This piece for vocalist features Giel Vleggaar not only as a composer - he is the librettist as well. This series of five songs draws out harrowing hospital scenes, a wild car ride to meet with a death come too soon, a funeral, and ends in an house which tries to hide its own emptiness with everyday objects. Based on true events, the composer brings us a stylised personal story about a surreal month with a fatal ending.

Post Mortem was composed for Ensemble Transcenturia with financial support of Fonds voor de Scheppende Toonkunst.

Movements

I. Not Enough
II. I Will Be There
III. The Glass Wall
IV. Rest Your Weary Bones
V. The Empty House

Text

I. NOT ENOUGH

IV drip, sterile gaze, needles go in and out
punctured veins and heavy pillows
No-one knows the end of this

Tumors growing, lungs are failing
Daily visits don't seem enough, these days
I wish I could take this burden
away from us

Sudden uplift, a few less choices
still not eating quite enough
Frowning doctors, your strength is waning
An increasing smaller list of things to do
Before it's over
Before you know it, it will be over
they say

Spending hours at your bedside
Not saying things I need to say
The nurses' chatter of final hours
Doesn't make sense for days
Nothing makes sense these days

And then the clock starts ticking
Backwards, if it may
Back to oblivion, or whatever place
Time will stay

Through a haze of morphine
You spend your final days
Saying the things we need to say
Going in circles, back to eachother
When to go, I will stay
It's not enough

II. I WILL BE THERE

Making my way
through traffic
one way streets
doubled up
double speed
I will be there

Making my way
as fast as I can
moving along though
caught in traffic
no parting of this Red Sea
I will be there

The call came; it is done
The last breath left you just
minutes ago
I wonder if you were waiting
Were you waiting for me?

A denser cloud of concrete
glides by; competition is fierce
for the spot on the highway
that leads me faster
to the place of doom
I will be there

Your face is white
No movement in sight, no sigh
Nothing remains - on the other side
Are you waiting
Are you waiting for me?

III. THE GLASS WALL

I reach out
to the glass wall
cold to the touch, chilled to the

Bone
where you once were
is nothing but air

Where
you were
was love - love was
where you were

Behind the glass wall
is nothing but
air

IV. REST YOUR WEARY BONES

Got up, ate some
breakfast - ran
to catch the
subway

Caught the
first train
no delays

Got off
the station
made for the bus
reached your house
in a relative calm

Took your car
drove back
to pick up
my partner in divorce

The church seemed to sigh
with the rest of the mourners
All here to praise you
And cry for the dead
Rest your weary bones
Rest your weary bones

Stood there
and waited
Wave after wave
never knew that condolence
had the weight that it did

Made my way to the altar
and spoke eloquently
Rest your weary bones
Rest your weary bones

And then to the graveyard
our garden to keep
Guardians were waiting
bearing your weight
over cobblestones and clay
to rest your weary bones
Rest your weary bones

Post-mortem luncheon
bread, butter and coffee and tea
Silence is screaming
in my ears

V. THE EMPTY HOUSE

The empty house
is full of empty books and cases
stories told forever gone
kitchen wares untouched
unseen since you've gone away for good

Curtains drawn
the bed was made a shower curtain
seems to drip
the last drop from the spring of life

And love is all around just not
in a talking mood since talking
is not the thing to do when dead
I guess

The phone still rings but who's left
to answer the few who
are not expecting you but me
Soon it will be disconnected - gone for good

The empty house still sways
to the rhythm of your heartbeat
Well, maybe it skipped a few
For old times' sake

Cups and candles and plates and
photos and silverware and
What is left here to remember
The empty house is full of you



© Copyright 2005 by Giel Vleggaar - reprinting without permission prohibited



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